Definition:
people post really long, flowery, exaggerated descriptions of restaurant experiences that have little to do with the quality of the experience or the likelihood that someone else might enjoy it. i.e., the advice is useless and it is just a forum for ranting or a vehicle for a repressed writer.
example:
"Feeling generous and lured by the smell of marijuana, I went in for a cup of coffee before my haircut. I was served right away by a guy who undercharged me, so I was thinking things were looking up a bit for Revolution.
Tepid coffee. Totally lukewarm.
Revolution is like the hot guy with a little dick and bad breath who I keep sending drunken booty texts to. When will I learn?"